Observing Communications

I was visiting a family of a friend and there were two males and a little boy in the kitchen, the little boy was watching the males talking and laughing and I think he wanted to join in the conversation.  The adults did not pay him any attention, so he got closer to where they were standing.  The little boy took the stance of one of the men, and just watched for another minute or so.  These men were not validating this child’s present at all (Kovach & Da Ros-Vaseles, 2011).  The little boy started calling out one of the men by his name and they still didn’t pay him any attention.  After several minutes of trying to get the adults attention he started calling their names out loudly in hopes that they would pay him some attention.  Neither man turned to him, when he got really loud they asked him to stop yelling.  This was funny to me, all they had to do was turn to him and answer him by his name, ask him what he needed, and take care of his needs. It was important to this child that he be acknowledge and recognized as a male person.  The ladies were mostly in another room.  I don’t know if there were ladies in the room if he would have turned to them, or he just wanted to be a part of the male bonding.  This was a chance for the little boy to build on his social skills and his emotional skills, he responded with the emotional skills of a child (Pierce & Johnson, 2010) and they in turned asked why he was yelling.  I told them he was waiting for you to acknowledge him and to be included in their conservation, and that if they had paid attention to him when he first called their names he would not have reverted to yelling and on the verge of crying. His acceptance into the group would have helped the situation also, as Lisa Kollick talked about in “Communicating with Young Children” from our media segment. I hope that as a result of our conversation that in the future they will pay closer attention to the children around them and see that they could hurt a child’s self-worth. This child did not seem to be affected by this interaction, he just moved on after he got what he wanted.  It could have hurt him if he were to encounter this type of response often.

      I try to make sure that I am giving children that talk to me my full attention and that we have an authentic conversation (Rainer & Durden, 2010) when they talk to me.  I work on getting on their level and will do more to encourage them to give more and question more.  I want to show that I am genuinely interested in what they have to say, and challenge them to reach for more and get more out of the interactions that they have with me (Stephenson, 2009).  From this interaction I didn’t learn more about me, but from a conversation that I had with my daughter I was reminded that I need to listen better.

References:

"Communicating with Young Children"

Kovach, B., & Da Ros-Voseles, D. (2011). Communicating with babies. YC: Young Children, 66(2), 48-50.

Pierce, J., & Johnson, C. (2010). Problem solving with young children using persona dolls. YC: Young Children, 65(6), 106-108.

Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81.

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.