Friday, April 12, 2013

What do we say?



I had taken my daughter to a doctor’s visit, and ran into a friend that I had not seen in years.  He was taking his daughter in for her visit also.  He stood up to give me a hug and my daughter said “he has one leg”.  I didn’t know what had happen it took me a minute to register what to say, how to react, and to turn to her.  He just smiled at me; I guess he could see that didn’t know what to do.  He turned to me and asked me “what’s her name”? I told him and he explained to her that he had cancer and lost his leg to it.  It was something else that he had to not only given me a minute to deal with him having cancer but that he took the time to explain to my daughter what and why.  Children not only notice colors and language, they notice differences and at the time when they are asking questions there are no boundaries.  Charles looked my daughter in the eyes and just explained it to her showing her respect that she could ask him a question and he would answer it. Once that was done he looked at me and said “I didn’t know that you didn’t know”.  I would have silence my daughter had a had the moment to do so.  He anticipated what she was thinking and answered her questions and give her the information that she needed.
The Cycle of Socialization talks about how to change where there is a turn in the path, I remember when I was a child people with special needs where not seen very often and when we did we were not encouraged  to ask questions.  I had a cousin that had special needs and he frighten me.  No matter how often my Mother would tell me it was okay.  I am not sure if it were the media messages that I received or if it was just so different or both.  The difference in now and then is there is way more information out there for all to receive.  We answer questions right away and give children the chance to be comfortable with asking questions without making them feel they are out of line.  Inclusions in the classroom means there is exposure to different abilities and it no longer feels different. It has helped people to become more accepting and more comfortable with people of different abilities.
I guess if an anti-bias teacher wanted to give a lesson on how to handle questions and the comfort level of dealing with different abilities they could use the persona dolls and make a history of how that person could have gotten to the place that they are.   Answer question that come up openly.

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